Today, for some reason, I was pulled back to reread the following which I had written a short time ago.
Remember doing one of those children’s puzzle mazes - you know the ones - where you draw the path from where you are as the mouse through to the end destination of reaching the cheese? How many times did you hit the wall before you discovered the path leading to the end?
One day, not so long ago, I was in the mall and having completed my shopping, I had traveled up the escalator in the middle of the mall and began to walk down to Sears at the far end. I wanted to get back to my car which was parked just outside of Sears. Once inside Sears, I wandered around, repeatedly circling the store, trying to find the desired exit door to the parking lot. For some reason, I could not find the way out. At that moment, I wished that my husband were with me because he is usually my navigator for finding my way in such situations.
Just as I was ready to aimlessly circle the store one last time around, I checked in with mySelf and I suddenly woke up to an inner realization. I made my way back to the mall exit, turned to check out the store sign and sure enough … I was in The Bay and not Sears (if I was not so utterly aggravated at the time, yes, it would have been laughable). As I made my way down to the other end of the mall and into Sears, things suddenly felt comfortable again … the sales women who had waited on me, the store layout and the parking lot exit were instantly recognizable. A feeling of relief washed over me as I realized that I had found the path to reaching my car.
I wondered how I could have been so blind or mindless on the way to and in the Bay store. I asked myself why I had not realized this sooner. I saw the HBC rewards sign and interpreted it as Sears rewards. I knew that there should be a door over there but explained it away as it not being as I had remembered it. Because I believed that where I was at the time was indeed the intended place, I systematically ignored, filtered out or misinterpreted all of the signposts that would have told me (had I been open to paying attention) that I was not even close to my desired destination. And, I failed to listen sooner to the inner building of the frustration in my body and the quiet inner voice telling me that this was not the direction to be going. What a potent reminder of what happens when we are living a life moment in the comatose state. No wonder we are not happy with where we are in our lives!
I immediately got curious about how this was a metaphor for my life. What other paths might I be taking in my life, paths that I truly believe are moving me in the intended direction, albeit mindlessly, and, although I am ending up in a place that appears to be where I want to be; however, my body is telling me that this just is not so? Where else in my life am I feeling restless and frustrated because the exit doorway to get to my desired destination does not seem to exist and yet here I am circling around seemingly unaware of this? Where else have I reached the wall in the maze and cannot seem to get beyond it? Am I wandering around and around like a caged animal hoping that the environment magically changes so that I can reach where I want to be OR do I finally pay attention, listen to my body messages and inner voice, wake up and realize that I have mindlessly ended up in the wrong place? Now mindful ... what choices will lead me back onto the desired life path?
Hmm, given that I have been pulled back to this previous discovery ... what do I pay attention to now in my life that is part of this awakening process?
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