I read with interest today a news article about the 7.0 earthquake in Port-au-Prince, the capital and largest city in Haiti. Although struck by the devastation and sadness that this catastrophic event holds, what really grabbed my attention was the universal metaphor that this large scale situation holds for the entire world. It is a giant world wake up call! Are we paying attention?
Many will view this ordeal as a compassionate need to send aid and to rebuild; however, I see this as a massive energetic consciousness that, over time, ultimately manifested this situation. I also recognize that only through a shift in our energetic consciousness will there ever be a lasting transformation for this or any other human catastrophic situation.
What was interesting to me was the list of structures that were destroyed including: the Presidential Palace, the finance ministry, the public works ministry, the Palace of Justice, the parliament building, and the Cathedral-de-Port-au-Prince as well as schools and hospitals. One of the news articles wrote: “Parliament has collapsed. The tax office has collapsed. Schools have collapsed. Hospitals have collapsed.” I would add that churches have collapsed and that the economy (with both rich and poor homes) has collapsed. Therefore, in the midst of this politically unstable city, all of the external culturally conditioned institutions on which this community was built have now collapsed.
Although this is happening to Haiti, this situation cries out to all of us to pay attention to our own structures on which we are creating our world and know that they are ALL collapsing since the foundation on which they are built is not stable enough for them to withstand a chaotic event. This is not just about Haiti, it is about all of us! Every city and nation must look at its own unstable structures which are collapsing around them. When everything has finally collapsed, what will we be left with?
What has also struck me about this situation is the energetic pull that is now beginning for us to have one UNI-verse, which in this case is many nations all pulling together to aid this country. Without the institutions on which we base our world, it becomes about one person helping another, one community working with another, one nation supporting another, one universe of humanity all inter-connecting with each other. This reflects the shift that is happening in our world from a consciousness of separatism, based on separate individual humans, to one universal organism or consciousness called humanity. What affects the people of Haiti, affects us all, since we are all connected to each other and to one consciousness. The veil is lifting yet are we opening our eyes?
And, finally, Gaia, fiery mother earth, like a dog shaking off thousands of irritating fleas, will also continue to create these environmental disasters to shake us from our slumber as a way to save herself from the harm that humans are creating for her. So if we want to survive, we will start to do whatever it takes to help her to thrive!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Quantum Life Creations
It is a time for new beginnings. I have now registered my new business name and domain name registration … Quantum Life Creations.
Having completed this process, I said my business name out loud and allowed the vibration of the finalized name to filter through my body. As I did, tears came to my eyes. Huge waves of energy moved through my body. Vibrations (shaking) were felt in my chest area as well as in my feet then through my solar plexus and throat. Heat began to radiate from my body.
I have a sense of breaking free from the culturally conditioned constraints that have held me back from moving forward in developing this new business until now.
As this energy metabolized and stabilized, I noticed that my left hand was resting on my thymus chakra. I discovered that the thymus or higher heart chakra, located between the heart and the throat chakra near the collarbone to the left, is said to be the "I AM" chakra. It signifies the connection to my essence (God-Self) and my ability to know and experience mySelf as a Divine being. It integrates the channel of my higher consciousness with the wisdom of my body. It is my connection to divine truth. It is the connection to my full expression. It involves feeling confidence in my ability to speak my truth and to voice my true feelings. As the control center for my immune system, it is important to my overall well being. How very interesting!
The vibration that this business holds for me is that it will allow me full expression of Self. I sense a deeper connection with my Signal from Self. It will allow me to express mySelf in many ways on all that are meaningful to me and that I feel most deeply about. It allows me to collapse the box and to expand out as far as I desire. This is the essence of my Being.
Quantum Life Creations is dedicated to engaging with individuals in the discovery of the essence of who they are.
I am left feeling a quiet impulse in my solar plexus ... an awareness that I am capable and ready to move forward on this.
Having completed this process, I said my business name out loud and allowed the vibration of the finalized name to filter through my body. As I did, tears came to my eyes. Huge waves of energy moved through my body. Vibrations (shaking) were felt in my chest area as well as in my feet then through my solar plexus and throat. Heat began to radiate from my body.
I have a sense of breaking free from the culturally conditioned constraints that have held me back from moving forward in developing this new business until now.
As this energy metabolized and stabilized, I noticed that my left hand was resting on my thymus chakra. I discovered that the thymus or higher heart chakra, located between the heart and the throat chakra near the collarbone to the left, is said to be the "I AM" chakra. It signifies the connection to my essence (God-Self) and my ability to know and experience mySelf as a Divine being. It integrates the channel of my higher consciousness with the wisdom of my body. It is my connection to divine truth. It is the connection to my full expression. It involves feeling confidence in my ability to speak my truth and to voice my true feelings. As the control center for my immune system, it is important to my overall well being. How very interesting!
The vibration that this business holds for me is that it will allow me full expression of Self. I sense a deeper connection with my Signal from Self. It will allow me to express mySelf in many ways on all that are meaningful to me and that I feel most deeply about. It allows me to collapse the box and to expand out as far as I desire. This is the essence of my Being.
Quantum Life Creations is dedicated to engaging with individuals in the discovery of the essence of who they are.
I am left feeling a quiet impulse in my solar plexus ... an awareness that I am capable and ready to move forward on this.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Spiraling Shifts in Reality
For about a year now, I have been dealing with a number of life instances in which power and authority is the common theme. Do I claim my inner authority and power in creating my life or do I defer to the culturally conditioned, external authorities of power in my life? Considering that a feeling of powerlessness has reigned supreme often throughout my life, it has been interesting to observe mySelf in these experiences and to realize the shift that is occurring in mySelf from powerless or helpless victim to empowered Self.
No longer do I simply go along with what others tell me is the way they want things to be. Just because others have a designated title or role of external authority does not give them rule over what I know to be the truth in my life.
No longer do I ask permission from others regarding whether or not I can do something. I simply do it because this is what I want to create … and yes, there have been the complaints about how come I got to do a certain project or that I did not have the authority or permission to make certain arrangements. And yet, no one has come up to me directly to tell me to stop. Interesting because my belief in these instances has been that I am untouchable because I have the authority over me and over what I do in my life.
At the same time, these external authority/power circumstances have triggered a lot of movement of energy in my body. I have spiraled downward into past fears of lack of personal safety by not going along with the powers that be. I have spiraled downward into the depths of despair and worry over what repercussions might occur. I have spiraled downward into binge eating as I attempt to push down the massive movement of energy within and, thereby, falsely believe that I can, through this habitual response, somehow relieve the feelings of heightened stress created by my fear of disapproval. As I move in the direction that I want to go with my life, these wired in responses arise to be metabolized. Wow … just the thought of the fear of disapproval and the resulting punishment by those in authority is a big one for me! This just brought on huge sobbing tears, stomach contractions and severe restriction in my throat! The compounding pressure on my chest feels like a huge weight holding me down. This fear of disapproval has run my life and held me back for far too long already. And, I was not even aware of its reigning power over me until now.
The wired in messages from my culturally conditioned self (Signal # 2) arise and create conflict with my desire to move in the direction of what my authentic and higher Self (Signal # 1) pull at me to create. As a result, over the last week, I have spiraled into the experience of pain and coughing in my throat as well as having a lot of congestion in my sinuses and in my chest area.
Indeed, all of these experiences have given me a new understanding of how my life really is created through spirals of energy. If we picture a spiraling whirlwind of energy (like a tornado), we are experiencing life in the now somewhere in the middle of this whirlwind. Our desire is usually to be centered in the still point or eye of the whirlwind where we can experience true peace and tranquility in our life. However, it does not work that way.
There are times in which we feel ourselves spiral downward into unconsciousness or lower frequency thinking. Wired in responses from the past materialize in our physical bodies in order for them to be metabolized. What we create at the physical level from this spiraling energy is created at the lower levels of consciousness. On the other hand, as we raise our level of thinking to higher levels of consciousness, moving up the spiral, we then create physically at these higher levels. There are also moments in which we get stuck circling around and around within the spiral as a result of getting caught in loop thinking and repeat the same repetitive thoughts and reality patterns over and over again in our life.
As I thought about this spiraling stream of consciousness, I realized that I could create a dimensional shift of reality. In the now, as I am in my experience, I can consciously choose my point of perception within the spiral and therefore, create the reality that I desire or I can stay within the reality that subsequently gets created from my conflicting signals. Although it seems as if we get pulled down into our reactive experiences, I now realize that the choice of my perception point really is within my power. As a result, there have been moments when I have been aware of this mindful observer who is silently taking in the entire experience from a higher consciousness point in order to engage the experience differently. In these instances, life flows more easily and effortlessly.
In seeming synchronicity, the movie "Sliding Doors" came into my awareness then magically appeared on TV one night coincidentally after the last bit of the Star Trek movie "Insurrection". Star Trek reminded me that what appears as real on our holodeck will depend on what we perceive or desire as true for our reality. Only when we realize that this is not the truth do we shift our perceptual focus of our holodeck and the existing perception of reality changes instantly. "Sliding Doors" reminded me that in the moment of now we can create a parallel shift in reality depending on what we focus our attention on in the now moment.
The same holds true for what we choose to manifest within the spiraling energy of our physical reality. Therefore, powerlessness victim or empowered Self becomes a chosen reality depending on the perceptual point of consciousness on which I place the focus of my attention.
In each instance, I have the choice to stand on the side of being a quantum biological human or on the side of being a weak physical being … of being powerful or powerless…. of moving towards awakening or remaining unconscious. The choice is always mine!
No longer do I simply go along with what others tell me is the way they want things to be. Just because others have a designated title or role of external authority does not give them rule over what I know to be the truth in my life.
No longer do I ask permission from others regarding whether or not I can do something. I simply do it because this is what I want to create … and yes, there have been the complaints about how come I got to do a certain project or that I did not have the authority or permission to make certain arrangements. And yet, no one has come up to me directly to tell me to stop. Interesting because my belief in these instances has been that I am untouchable because I have the authority over me and over what I do in my life.
At the same time, these external authority/power circumstances have triggered a lot of movement of energy in my body. I have spiraled downward into past fears of lack of personal safety by not going along with the powers that be. I have spiraled downward into the depths of despair and worry over what repercussions might occur. I have spiraled downward into binge eating as I attempt to push down the massive movement of energy within and, thereby, falsely believe that I can, through this habitual response, somehow relieve the feelings of heightened stress created by my fear of disapproval. As I move in the direction that I want to go with my life, these wired in responses arise to be metabolized. Wow … just the thought of the fear of disapproval and the resulting punishment by those in authority is a big one for me! This just brought on huge sobbing tears, stomach contractions and severe restriction in my throat! The compounding pressure on my chest feels like a huge weight holding me down. This fear of disapproval has run my life and held me back for far too long already. And, I was not even aware of its reigning power over me until now.
The wired in messages from my culturally conditioned self (Signal # 2) arise and create conflict with my desire to move in the direction of what my authentic and higher Self (Signal # 1) pull at me to create. As a result, over the last week, I have spiraled into the experience of pain and coughing in my throat as well as having a lot of congestion in my sinuses and in my chest area.
Indeed, all of these experiences have given me a new understanding of how my life really is created through spirals of energy. If we picture a spiraling whirlwind of energy (like a tornado), we are experiencing life in the now somewhere in the middle of this whirlwind. Our desire is usually to be centered in the still point or eye of the whirlwind where we can experience true peace and tranquility in our life. However, it does not work that way.
There are times in which we feel ourselves spiral downward into unconsciousness or lower frequency thinking. Wired in responses from the past materialize in our physical bodies in order for them to be metabolized. What we create at the physical level from this spiraling energy is created at the lower levels of consciousness. On the other hand, as we raise our level of thinking to higher levels of consciousness, moving up the spiral, we then create physically at these higher levels. There are also moments in which we get stuck circling around and around within the spiral as a result of getting caught in loop thinking and repeat the same repetitive thoughts and reality patterns over and over again in our life.
As I thought about this spiraling stream of consciousness, I realized that I could create a dimensional shift of reality. In the now, as I am in my experience, I can consciously choose my point of perception within the spiral and therefore, create the reality that I desire or I can stay within the reality that subsequently gets created from my conflicting signals. Although it seems as if we get pulled down into our reactive experiences, I now realize that the choice of my perception point really is within my power. As a result, there have been moments when I have been aware of this mindful observer who is silently taking in the entire experience from a higher consciousness point in order to engage the experience differently. In these instances, life flows more easily and effortlessly.
In seeming synchronicity, the movie "Sliding Doors" came into my awareness then magically appeared on TV one night coincidentally after the last bit of the Star Trek movie "Insurrection". Star Trek reminded me that what appears as real on our holodeck will depend on what we perceive or desire as true for our reality. Only when we realize that this is not the truth do we shift our perceptual focus of our holodeck and the existing perception of reality changes instantly. "Sliding Doors" reminded me that in the moment of now we can create a parallel shift in reality depending on what we focus our attention on in the now moment.
The same holds true for what we choose to manifest within the spiraling energy of our physical reality. Therefore, powerlessness victim or empowered Self becomes a chosen reality depending on the perceptual point of consciousness on which I place the focus of my attention.
In each instance, I have the choice to stand on the side of being a quantum biological human or on the side of being a weak physical being … of being powerful or powerless…. of moving towards awakening or remaining unconscious. The choice is always mine!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Manifesting through Connection and Love
Over the last few months, I have had a number of the athletes that I coach who are done high school and now leaving to attend university or to enter the work world.
One of my athletes and her mother got together with me over lunch and presented me with a beautiful scrapbook of photos, quotes, etc. that they had spent months on creating for me. This scrapbook told the story of our memorable 12 year journey together. This began from the time that I had started coaching her at the age of 6, winning the CanSkater of the year award, up until the time that she became a quad Gold medallist in all 4 disciplines of skating as well as winning Gold at National StarSkate Championships.
In looking through this scrapbook, I felt a surge of tremendous joy as well as overwhelming love. Tears came to my eyes and huge expansive energy moves through my heart chakra area. In that moment, I realized that everything that happened over those years was done out of deep connection and love. It was through this deep connection and love that enabled so much to manifest.
As I looked back, I realized that each and every single choice that I made, as a coach, had originated out of love. I realized that only through each of us, the athlete and parent and coach, deeply connected with an ongoing willingness to support each other could such an incredible journey have been created.
Her mother and I reminisced about the countless times in which we joined in conversations about what decisions and choices we could make that would create the life experience that we wanted for this child/athlete. She listened and was respectful to me as a coach bringing in my expertise and experience. I listened to her, as a mother, with her inner desires to have her child experience success and enjoyment. What was important and meaningful to each of us was always open to expression. We engaged in truthful conversations with each other throughout the years even when there were things that we were hesitant to express since we were not sure how the other person would react. Only in retrospect could we see the life intelligence behind some of the more frustrating moments that were unknowingly preparing us for something more meaningful still yet to come.
Both of us crying, her tears, as the parent, over her daughter now leaving skating and home to forge her own independent journey as a young women and me, as the coach, over the athlete who has reached her fullest potential and now is moving on to other life intentions. Each of us teary, as an incredible shared life journey was coming to a close.
Each of us in the relationship got to be who we were and all contributed what was important in order to make this happen. In fact, when I commented to my skater that she always had the drive, determination, talent, etc, (that is, all of the athletic qualities to make it happen and to become a champion athlete), she shrugged and commented that it really did not seem that she was doing anything except just being herSelf.
Miracles can happen in relationships in which there is a deep connection, when we are act out of love, and when there is openness to truthful Self-expression.
One of my athletes and her mother got together with me over lunch and presented me with a beautiful scrapbook of photos, quotes, etc. that they had spent months on creating for me. This scrapbook told the story of our memorable 12 year journey together. This began from the time that I had started coaching her at the age of 6, winning the CanSkater of the year award, up until the time that she became a quad Gold medallist in all 4 disciplines of skating as well as winning Gold at National StarSkate Championships.
In looking through this scrapbook, I felt a surge of tremendous joy as well as overwhelming love. Tears came to my eyes and huge expansive energy moves through my heart chakra area. In that moment, I realized that everything that happened over those years was done out of deep connection and love. It was through this deep connection and love that enabled so much to manifest.
As I looked back, I realized that each and every single choice that I made, as a coach, had originated out of love. I realized that only through each of us, the athlete and parent and coach, deeply connected with an ongoing willingness to support each other could such an incredible journey have been created.
Her mother and I reminisced about the countless times in which we joined in conversations about what decisions and choices we could make that would create the life experience that we wanted for this child/athlete. She listened and was respectful to me as a coach bringing in my expertise and experience. I listened to her, as a mother, with her inner desires to have her child experience success and enjoyment. What was important and meaningful to each of us was always open to expression. We engaged in truthful conversations with each other throughout the years even when there were things that we were hesitant to express since we were not sure how the other person would react. Only in retrospect could we see the life intelligence behind some of the more frustrating moments that were unknowingly preparing us for something more meaningful still yet to come.
Both of us crying, her tears, as the parent, over her daughter now leaving skating and home to forge her own independent journey as a young women and me, as the coach, over the athlete who has reached her fullest potential and now is moving on to other life intentions. Each of us teary, as an incredible shared life journey was coming to a close.
Each of us in the relationship got to be who we were and all contributed what was important in order to make this happen. In fact, when I commented to my skater that she always had the drive, determination, talent, etc, (that is, all of the athletic qualities to make it happen and to become a champion athlete), she shrugged and commented that it really did not seem that she was doing anything except just being herSelf.
Miracles can happen in relationships in which there is a deep connection, when we are act out of love, and when there is openness to truthful Self-expression.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Hiding No More ... I am the God Force
I have been hiding from mySelf for most of my life. Keeping the truth of who I am hidden in the darkness. As a vulnerable child, I hid because hiding my expression of Self meant safety and protection. I constructed a protective veil around mySelf that was truly a sign of intelligence. The enormous nature of the God force that I am was the best-kept secret.
I hid peacefully in my intellectually constructed closet of being. Hiding meant keeping silent. Hiding meant being invisible. Hiding meant being a quiet and obedient child. Hiding meant being a conscientious and agreeable student. Hiding meant never voicing my true opinions. Hiding meant going along with what others wanted. Hiding meant never knowing nor having anything that I wanted. Hiding meant never knowing the truth of who I am.
Years of believing the externally referenced lies that were fed to me. How could "I" possibly become the huge expansive force of energy that was the incredible expression of my being? Angry and fear based verbal messages (such as just who do you think you are; you’ll shut up and listen if you know what is good for you; you better do as you are told; you are a nothing and you will never be anything) were wired repeatedly into the physical fabric of my being. These conditioned beliefs did an amazing job of keeping me small and puny and obedient confined in the safety of my self-created box. These long forgotten language patterns became instilled into the vibrational state of my being. Hidden out of my awareness yet continuing to shape the ongoing life that I was living.
In all of it, I now see that I was never a victim of my circumstances. I was always the creator. What if breaking free of these self-created, externally authorized constraints became the path to realizing the inner authority truth about mySelf? What if everything that happens in our lives really is unfolding exactly as it should to lead us on the evolutionary journey that we are to engage in so that we can discover who we truly are?
A safe space within was created to protect the core of my being … this safe space invited and allowed me to develop the potential of who I am … this safe space now enables others, enfolded within my presence, to develop their own potential. How intelligent is that … the God force that I am rules!
I hid peacefully in my intellectually constructed closet of being. Hiding meant keeping silent. Hiding meant being invisible. Hiding meant being a quiet and obedient child. Hiding meant being a conscientious and agreeable student. Hiding meant never voicing my true opinions. Hiding meant going along with what others wanted. Hiding meant never knowing nor having anything that I wanted. Hiding meant never knowing the truth of who I am.
Years of believing the externally referenced lies that were fed to me. How could "I" possibly become the huge expansive force of energy that was the incredible expression of my being? Angry and fear based verbal messages (such as just who do you think you are; you’ll shut up and listen if you know what is good for you; you better do as you are told; you are a nothing and you will never be anything) were wired repeatedly into the physical fabric of my being. These conditioned beliefs did an amazing job of keeping me small and puny and obedient confined in the safety of my self-created box. These long forgotten language patterns became instilled into the vibrational state of my being. Hidden out of my awareness yet continuing to shape the ongoing life that I was living.
In all of it, I now see that I was never a victim of my circumstances. I was always the creator. What if breaking free of these self-created, externally authorized constraints became the path to realizing the inner authority truth about mySelf? What if everything that happens in our lives really is unfolding exactly as it should to lead us on the evolutionary journey that we are to engage in so that we can discover who we truly are?
A safe space within was created to protect the core of my being … this safe space invited and allowed me to develop the potential of who I am … this safe space now enables others, enfolded within my presence, to develop their own potential. How intelligent is that … the God force that I am rules!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Staying Awake along the Intended Path
Today, for some reason, I was pulled back to reread the following which I had written a short time ago.
Remember doing one of those children’s puzzle mazes - you know the ones - where you draw the path from where you are as the mouse through to the end destination of reaching the cheese? How many times did you hit the wall before you discovered the path leading to the end?
One day, not so long ago, I was in the mall and having completed my shopping, I had traveled up the escalator in the middle of the mall and began to walk down to Sears at the far end. I wanted to get back to my car which was parked just outside of Sears. Once inside Sears, I wandered around, repeatedly circling the store, trying to find the desired exit door to the parking lot. For some reason, I could not find the way out. At that moment, I wished that my husband were with me because he is usually my navigator for finding my way in such situations.
Just as I was ready to aimlessly circle the store one last time around, I checked in with mySelf and I suddenly woke up to an inner realization. I made my way back to the mall exit, turned to check out the store sign and sure enough … I was in The Bay and not Sears (if I was not so utterly aggravated at the time, yes, it would have been laughable). As I made my way down to the other end of the mall and into Sears, things suddenly felt comfortable again … the sales women who had waited on me, the store layout and the parking lot exit were instantly recognizable. A feeling of relief washed over me as I realized that I had found the path to reaching my car.
I wondered how I could have been so blind or mindless on the way to and in the Bay store. I asked myself why I had not realized this sooner. I saw the HBC rewards sign and interpreted it as Sears rewards. I knew that there should be a door over there but explained it away as it not being as I had remembered it. Because I believed that where I was at the time was indeed the intended place, I systematically ignored, filtered out or misinterpreted all of the signposts that would have told me (had I been open to paying attention) that I was not even close to my desired destination. And, I failed to listen sooner to the inner building of the frustration in my body and the quiet inner voice telling me that this was not the direction to be going. What a potent reminder of what happens when we are living a life moment in the comatose state. No wonder we are not happy with where we are in our lives!
I immediately got curious about how this was a metaphor for my life. What other paths might I be taking in my life, paths that I truly believe are moving me in the intended direction, albeit mindlessly, and, although I am ending up in a place that appears to be where I want to be; however, my body is telling me that this just is not so? Where else in my life am I feeling restless and frustrated because the exit doorway to get to my desired destination does not seem to exist and yet here I am circling around seemingly unaware of this? Where else have I reached the wall in the maze and cannot seem to get beyond it? Am I wandering around and around like a caged animal hoping that the environment magically changes so that I can reach where I want to be OR do I finally pay attention, listen to my body messages and inner voice, wake up and realize that I have mindlessly ended up in the wrong place? Now mindful ... what choices will lead me back onto the desired life path?
Hmm, given that I have been pulled back to this previous discovery ... what do I pay attention to now in my life that is part of this awakening process?
Remember doing one of those children’s puzzle mazes - you know the ones - where you draw the path from where you are as the mouse through to the end destination of reaching the cheese? How many times did you hit the wall before you discovered the path leading to the end?
One day, not so long ago, I was in the mall and having completed my shopping, I had traveled up the escalator in the middle of the mall and began to walk down to Sears at the far end. I wanted to get back to my car which was parked just outside of Sears. Once inside Sears, I wandered around, repeatedly circling the store, trying to find the desired exit door to the parking lot. For some reason, I could not find the way out. At that moment, I wished that my husband were with me because he is usually my navigator for finding my way in such situations.
Just as I was ready to aimlessly circle the store one last time around, I checked in with mySelf and I suddenly woke up to an inner realization. I made my way back to the mall exit, turned to check out the store sign and sure enough … I was in The Bay and not Sears (if I was not so utterly aggravated at the time, yes, it would have been laughable). As I made my way down to the other end of the mall and into Sears, things suddenly felt comfortable again … the sales women who had waited on me, the store layout and the parking lot exit were instantly recognizable. A feeling of relief washed over me as I realized that I had found the path to reaching my car.
I wondered how I could have been so blind or mindless on the way to and in the Bay store. I asked myself why I had not realized this sooner. I saw the HBC rewards sign and interpreted it as Sears rewards. I knew that there should be a door over there but explained it away as it not being as I had remembered it. Because I believed that where I was at the time was indeed the intended place, I systematically ignored, filtered out or misinterpreted all of the signposts that would have told me (had I been open to paying attention) that I was not even close to my desired destination. And, I failed to listen sooner to the inner building of the frustration in my body and the quiet inner voice telling me that this was not the direction to be going. What a potent reminder of what happens when we are living a life moment in the comatose state. No wonder we are not happy with where we are in our lives!
I immediately got curious about how this was a metaphor for my life. What other paths might I be taking in my life, paths that I truly believe are moving me in the intended direction, albeit mindlessly, and, although I am ending up in a place that appears to be where I want to be; however, my body is telling me that this just is not so? Where else in my life am I feeling restless and frustrated because the exit doorway to get to my desired destination does not seem to exist and yet here I am circling around seemingly unaware of this? Where else have I reached the wall in the maze and cannot seem to get beyond it? Am I wandering around and around like a caged animal hoping that the environment magically changes so that I can reach where I want to be OR do I finally pay attention, listen to my body messages and inner voice, wake up and realize that I have mindlessly ended up in the wrong place? Now mindful ... what choices will lead me back onto the desired life path?
Hmm, given that I have been pulled back to this previous discovery ... what do I pay attention to now in my life that is part of this awakening process?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
What's Standing in My Way?
I have been reflecting on my life lately … where it is going, who I want to become and what is important and meaningful for me to experience in order to move forward in the direction that I want to go in my life.
While pondering this, a number of thought bubbles popped into my mind – perhaps, the timing just was not quite right especially with your already busy work schedule, how dare you take time for yourself while others were already counting on you to be there for them, how irresponsible of you, would it not be easier just to put this off this until you had some vacation time, can you really afford not just the time but the money to do this – bubbles that had a eerie familiarity about them.
I began to realize that there have been numerous times in the past when I have sat back waiting for all of the conditions to be right … for events to finally fall into place … so that I could fit in the things that would enable my life to move forward in a new direction and so that it would ease the conditioned guilt felt in doing so. These seemingly rationale reasons always seemed to justify why it just was not the "right" time to do so. No wonder life stays the same. Past personal history moves forward into the present as the same choices are made over and over again. There is no such thing as the "right" time. The only time is the "chosen" time when I decide to make something new happen in my life.
I pictured all of these responses that were frequently put in my way and then it hit me. The reflection that I was seeing in my holographic mirror was a view of all of these blocks and (could it really be?) holding on to every one of them was "me". Incredible! The only thing standing between me and the life that I wanted to create was ME! Indeed, "I" was putting all of these conditions in my way. Come on … how could that be? Don’t such things just pop up in our lives or do we actually put them there? Aren’t there times that we are totally unwilling victims or are we always powerful creators? Are we at cause or are we at effect in our lives?
I know that in a holographic universe, the world "out there" is really only a reflection of my world within. Therefore, if I am the creator of my world, then, you guessed it, I am creating ALL of it! Yes, I am creating my world and, then, experiencing each and every moment of it. That includes the roadblocks, barriers, and stuck feelings as well as the easy and effortless times.
If so, then, what is the intelligence behind my creating these conditions? Am I not ready for the changes that will occur? Is it all too overwhelming to think that I could actually have what I wanted if only I would just get out of my way? Was I succumbing to my usual culturally conditioned responses and beliefs? Getting curious is a way for me to become more conscious of what is going on … about the truth behind this intelligent response.
If the blocks are in my life, it is because I have created those blocks. If something is standing in my way, it is because I have placed it there. My life is a holographic universe reflecting back my moment to moment creative power. All is there for me to learn, for me to evolve, for me to become who I was incarnated to become in this lifetime.
My life is the sum total of all of the choices that I make moment to moment. If, in this moment, I do not make the choice that moves me forward in the direction towards the life that I want then I am making the choice to continue to have the life that I have. Because we are creators as human beings, there is no such thing as never creating. I am always in the process of keeping what I have by repetitively creating the same life that I already have or I am developing something new by making new and different life choices. Do I want to remain who I am or do I want to become who I want to become? This choice is always mine. There is actually tremendous power in knowing this.
So, here’s to becoming more and more conscious on a daily basis in my life. In this way, I can make the choices that will move my life forward in each and every moment. Here’s to not being held back by the illusions that I create, illusions that have previously held me back from having the life that I want. And, in this holographic universe, here’s to those of you who also resonant to this and who can begin to create the same movement in your life!
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