Spiraling Shifts in Reality

For about a year now, I have been dealing with a number of life instances in which power and authority is the common theme. Do I claim my inner authority and power in creating my life or do I defer to the culturally conditioned, external authorities of power in my life? Considering that a feeling of powerlessness has reigned supreme often throughout my life, it has been interesting to observe mySelf in these experiences and to realize the shift that is occurring in mySelf from powerless or helpless victim to empowered Self.

No longer do I simply go along with what others tell me is the way they want things to be. Just because others have a designated title or role of external authority does not give them rule over what I know to be the truth in my life.

No longer do I ask permission from others regarding whether or not I can do something. I simply do it because this is what I want to create … and yes, there have been the complaints about how come I got to do a certain project or that I did not have the authority or permission to make certain arrangements. And yet, no one has come up to me directly to tell me to stop. Interesting because my belief in these instances has been that I am untouchable because I have the authority over me and over what I do in my life.

At the same time, these external authority/power circumstances have triggered a lot of movement of energy in my body. I have spiraled downward into past fears of lack of personal safety by not going along with the powers that be. I have spiraled downward into the depths of despair and worry over what repercussions might occur. I have spiraled downward into binge eating as I attempt to push down the massive movement of energy within and, thereby, falsely believe that I can, through this habitual response, somehow relieve the feelings of heightened stress created by my fear of disapproval. As I move in the direction that I want to go with my life, these wired in responses arise to be metabolized. Wow … just the thought of the fear of disapproval and the resulting punishment by those in authority is a big one for me! This just brought on huge sobbing tears, stomach contractions and severe restriction in my throat! The compounding pressure on my chest feels like a huge weight holding me down. This fear of disapproval has run my life and held me back for far too long already. And, I was not even aware of its reigning power over me until now.

The wired in messages from my culturally conditioned self (Signal # 2) arise and create conflict with my desire to move in the direction of what my authentic and higher Self (Signal # 1) pull at me to create. As a result, over the last week, I have spiraled into the experience of pain and coughing in my throat as well as having a lot of congestion in my sinuses and in my chest area.

Indeed, all of these experiences have given me a new understanding of how my life really is created through spirals of energy. If we picture a spiraling whirlwind of energy (like a tornado), we are experiencing life in the now somewhere in the middle of this whirlwind. Our desire is usually to be centered in the still point or eye of the whirlwind where we can experience true peace and tranquility in our life. However, it does not work that way.

There are times in which we feel ourselves spiral downward into unconsciousness or lower frequency thinking. Wired in responses from the past materialize in our physical bodies in order for them to be metabolized. What we create at the physical level from this spiraling energy is created at the lower levels of consciousness. On the other hand, as we raise our level of thinking to higher levels of consciousness, moving up the spiral, we then create physically at these higher levels. There are also moments in which we get stuck circling around and around within the spiral as a result of getting caught in loop thinking and repeat the same repetitive thoughts and reality patterns over and over again in our life.

As I thought about this spiraling stream of consciousness, I realized that I could create a dimensional shift of reality. In the now, as I am in my experience, I can consciously choose my point of perception within the spiral and therefore, create the reality that I desire or I can stay within the reality that subsequently gets created from my conflicting signals. Although it seems as if we get pulled down into our reactive experiences, I now realize that the choice of my perception point really is within my power. As a result, there have been moments when I have been aware of this mindful observer who is silently taking in the entire experience from a higher consciousness point in order to engage the experience differently. In these instances, life flows more easily and effortlessly.

In seeming synchronicity, the movie "Sliding Doors" came into my awareness then magically appeared on TV one night coincidentally after the last bit of the Star Trek movie "Insurrection". Star Trek reminded me that what appears as real on our holodeck will depend on what we perceive or desire as true for our reality. Only when we realize that this is not the truth do we shift our perceptual focus of our holodeck and the existing perception of reality changes instantly. "Sliding Doors" reminded me that in the moment of now we can create a parallel shift in reality depending on what we focus our attention on in the now moment.

The same holds true for what we choose to manifest within the spiraling energy of our physical reality. Therefore, powerlessness victim or empowered Self becomes a chosen reality depending on the perceptual point of consciousness on which I place the focus of my attention.

In each instance, I have the choice to stand on the side of being a quantum biological human or on the side of being a weak physical being … of being powerful or powerless…. of moving towards awakening or remaining unconscious. The choice is always mine!